Wednesday, January 16, 2008

It's All Relative -OR- This is the longest post I have ever written!

Today Tommy told me to go out, on my own, and be an adult woman. I have been having a VERY rough 2 weeks- and today was my limit. I needed a "Me" day! Between the 5 days of potty training (1/5- 1/9) and not leaving the house, Paisley waking up at odd hours of the night, to having Tommy be gone for a few days at a time- I was EXHAUSTED!!! Today was my day. I started off going to Old Navy to buy some new jeans. After much success, I went to Target! That was a givin. What can be be better than Target with no whinny, grabby, irritable child?? Then after a WONDERFUL convo with MS. Fisch herself- (by the way, what happened? I think we lost connection!) I headed to Carlsbad to meet up with Sarah for lunch at the Pita Pit, and coffee at Starbucks-followed by a solid hour of gossip, venting and cheering up! One of my most favorite things to do with a friend or alone is to sit at Starbucks and people watch. There are so many interesting people who frequent Starbucks :) Once we finished we went our separate ways and I continued my "Me" Day and went to Barnes and Noble to sit and read. YESSSSS!!!!! I found a bunch of great books and enjoyed the quiet time of walking around and looking for books I wouldn't normally look at.

While I was at B&N, looking in the "Spirituality" section, I realized how much I have lost the TRUE Kalyn. That the Kalyn 4 years ago, pre pregnancy was a completely different girl. Granted I had a different purpose in life- but I'm talking night and day. Like Oil and Vinegar (hahah like Balsamic Vinegar and Ranch, or Ca. and La.) You get it- I know :) For the past two and a half years I have 110% dedicated myself to being the best Mommy to Paisley that I could be. I have given up my spa pedicures, my $130 hair appt.'s, my waistline, my alone time, and my personal time where I could be mad or sad for however long I chose. And looking back- I think it was all worth it.

It's all relative. That's right!! IT'S ALL RELATIVE!!! I have been hard on myself for the past few days because I hate feeling defeated, or like I am having a pitty party. I kept telling myself that at least my husband isn't gone for a year and I am having to do it on my own. That I need to shut up and be a strong woman. But a good friend told me that it is okay to feel upset- or overwhelmed, because it is all relative. To each his own. That everyones pain or frustration is different. My husband may not be deployed for a year, but for me, right now- it sucks. And that's okay. And to quote my Mom, that "This too will pass"!

Ohhh..... I dunno. (throwing my hands up in the air) This is life. I love life. I love the ups and downs, and looking into MY little life- it ain't that bad and I am proud to say I wouldn't change it for anyone else's!!!

6 comments:

Sarah D said...

Well said! BTW, just let her cry last night, twice! Had to break the vicious cycle...then I had one of those sit straight up in bed moments when I heard her crying at 6:40....at least it won't be such a "nuts" day...finally some relief. Gonna do some Target today too!

brooke2916 said...

I agree, Well said!! Things will get better, and just remember that your friends are here for you while things are rough. I know you've been there for me a million times in the past year!

{{Hugs}}

Brandi said...

We've been having some weird night wake ups too. Maybe its going around the net, LOL. Whats worse is I broke down and let him sleep with us because I was so TIRED. Gonna be a rough next few nights.

Chelle, Mike, Max, and Maggie said...

You know it truely is all relative. Some peoples "sucky" days may not be as bad as someone elses but that doesn't mean it still didn't suck. Crazy thought process I know... what I'm trying to say is we all deserve to feel bad regardless of HOW BAD it may be on some arbitrary scale. Good for you for taking a day all to yourself and good for Tommy for recognizing you needed a break!

McCoyFamily said...

I feel your pain Pat has been gone for an entire week and I'm spent 3 kids where's you out!! He gets home tonight at midnight and I'm having a me day tommorow mani/pedi maybe sushi. I give you kudos for being a great mom to Miss P and I raise a glass to all the SAHM's out there....

LizzieFish said...

this is a great post - ditto the kudos to tommy for telling you to get the heck out of the house...

AND yes, we did lose the stupid connection. i had all five bars and it STILL wasn't dialing. gr.

hahahahaha balsamic and ranch hahahahaha good one. =)

keep 'em coming

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