Saturday, June 14, 2008

Missed Connections

I recently fell in Love with the "Missed Connections" on Craigslist. I pick cities that I like, this one is from Santa Barbara. Here is my favorite from today:

Dear Douche Bag in my Parking Space (Isla Vista)

Dear Douche Bag in My Parking Space,
Congratulations for finding covered parking in IV- it’s a rare commodity and I commend you. While I do respect your go-get-‘em attitude and your rebellious disregard for social decorum, I have to be honest with you. I find myself slightly irked at the fact that someone I have never met is parked in the spot that I pay good money for. At least I’m pretty sure we haven’t met—I don’t have many friends at state schools, and judging by your SDSU sticker, you aren’t from around here.
I’d love to welcome you to the neighborhood! Please bring a 30-pack of Corona Light (not Corona- ewwww calories!!!) and $50 to apartment number 7, which, in case you forget, is painted on the wall in front of your vehicle. I should be here all night (just like your car), so come on over, and don’t forget the party favors, because if you do, I’m happy to have Smitty’s towing come and handle things. By the way, they charge $125 just for coming out, and I certainly can’t pay for that!
Just fyi, I am the owner of the Honda Accord blocking you in, so don’t try to sneak out without coming by for a drink and appetizers at my place. I have taken pictures of your license plate, vehicle make and model, and your VIN number. The friendly neighborhood police have let me know that if there is any damage done to my vehicle, you have motive! Haha, let’s not make this harder than it has to be!

Can’t wait to meet you!

Then a reply:

Re: Douchebag in your parking space (sb)

If you're female, which is likely judging by the request for Corona Light. I think I'm in love.

Awesome post. If the douchebag doesn't bring you beers, I will.


Lizzie Fish said...

that's awesome =)

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